• Of Sisyphus and morning sex.

    Or the joys of empty nest syndrome. Defined loosely by a collection of symptoms and emotions including depression, anxiety, a sense of loss of purpose, feelings of rejection, and excessive worry over a child’s welfare, empty nest syndrome is most commonly experienced by women after their last child leaves for college. Or so say my… Continue Reading

  • Goddamn dog.

    She sprawled in front of every door you wanted to open. Blocked the stairs when your arms were full of groceries.  Tripped you in the kitchen when you were carrying hot pans.  Kicked you with her back feet when you crowded her space on the couch or bed.  Dripped toilet water from her muzzle onto… Continue Reading

  • Crimes and misdemeanors.

    Or a suburban girl’s first brush with the law. Author’s note:  When your boyfriend borrows your car and promises to bring it back on time to drive you to campus for your morning class and then doesn’t show up the next morning, you should be slightly suspicious.  But I am not hardwired for suspicion, so… Continue Reading

  • This and that.

    Last week we dropped off our youngest son in West Virginia.  The baby of our family.  This mother’s son is seventeen and starting his freshman year at college. Last week a boy was shot unarmed in the street in Ferguson, Missouri.  That mother’s son was eighteen and a few days away from starting college classes. This week… Continue Reading

  • Blame Fruit of the Loom for the continued immigration debate.

    As the great-granddaughter of immigrants, I was going to write about immigration policy and the responsibilities borne by any first world nation in regards to escalating violence in developing nations and sheltering displaced children seeking refuge but I have much more pressing problems right here at home. My underwear is ripped. And I should probably throw… Continue Reading

  • Things my mom did.

    She… Saved money by cutting my and my sister’s hair at home. Not that you could ever tell. Smashed ice in a dishtowel and poured orange juice on top to simulate a snow cone when my sister and I would beg to buy one from the ice cream man. Made us go to bed at… Continue Reading

  • Mother of all possibilities.

    I had this picture in my head of the mother that I would be before my first son was born. It looked kind of like this. But, you know, with a baby instead of a joint. Now granted – with the exception of small breast size – nothing in this photograph would remind anyone of… Continue Reading

  • Love in the time of menopause.

    My husband and I are not ones for saying I love you all the time.  We like to throw it out there randomly to keep each other on our toes.  Like a fire drill. He will say “I love you.” And then I say “I love you too.” And then he says “I know.” For… Continue Reading

  • Art imitating life.

    Ladies, are you married?  Have children?  Have a job? Here is a fun and easy game you can play with your spouse. And the best part is it doesn’t require constricting leather undergarments or batteries.  Or perhaps that’s the worst part – whatever floats your boat. In this household, taking off your sweatpants before you get into… Continue Reading

  • Gap-toothed love.

    A brief reflection on 20 years of marital incompetence. We were not best friends when we got married. I’m not sure he knew my middle name until the priest said it out loud. We are not best friends now. More like comrades.  Comrades allied through sex, procreation and a poor credit rating.   We go… Continue Reading